at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
