If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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