remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
