Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
