did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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