all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
