Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
