so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
