I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
