I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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