happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize