There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize