I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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