About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
