Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
