3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I AM VODKA MAN
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
