I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
