Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
