omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
