I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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