you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
