I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
