I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
