Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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