God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
