I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize