in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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