bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
