we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize