You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
