Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
