They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
