Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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