I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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