I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
