He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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