I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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