You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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