im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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