that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
