We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
