i just google imaged poop.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
