And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
