I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
