I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
