addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
