Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just had sex on a roof
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
