and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
