it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
