Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
