Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
