so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
