K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
