Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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