margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Randomize