he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
