I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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