I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
