Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
