dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize