Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
