we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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