I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize