Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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